Small(ish) post to preface a soon to arrive big post. Yes, I'm really fucking sick, but between my innate refusal to give in to shit and the drugs & chemo*, I actually feel pretty damn good. No nausea, no tiredness, and not nearly as much existential brain-wringing as you might expect. But, this shit fucking situation means one thing, that, aside from getting on with life, I'm not going to be working for a living, which means one thing, that for the first time in my life I can throw myself into music without the distraction of a physically and intellectually taxing job. If I'm not playing, I'm thinking, imagining, moulding sound in my head all the time, and given that I could barely lift a guitar a couple or so weeks ago, that ain't fucking bad. So yeah, I'm ill, very ill, but I'm also me, a stubborn, bloody-minded motherfucker who will not lie down and take it. I can't not fight, and I will not let this beat me down psychologically, and music is intrinsic to that fight. So this year is going to be loud, hard but really fucking loud. Stay tuned.
*yes, I have cancer, and a nasty fucker of one at that, and that's as far as I want to discuss it, publicly anyway, email me if you like, in fact do, please**, but I am not going to let this blog turn into an illness diary. Sometimes I'll be be good, as at the mo' and at others I won't be so good, and you'll know by the tone of the ranting which one it is...
**DrWommm (at) outlook dot com or my normal addy if you already have it.
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Yup. That was pretty much my summing up of the situation for a few weeks. But I'm doing way better than I thought I would be, and feel an almost perverse freedom stemming from my situation. More soon, and I hope y're well Erik.
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