Wednesday, 14 September 2011

Procede El Weedian

I spent most of last week asleep, and then spent the whole weekend awake*. Now that I'm once more functioning on something approaching a human circadian rhythm and my pupils no longer look like piss-holes in the snow, there will be posts aplenty once more...

The other reason I haven't posted much is because I (huge shock coming here) bought a new guitar, a Gretsch Baritone Jet to be precise, which is actually a 6-string bass which thinks it's a guitar and can be seen modelled by (a somewhat dishevelled) yrs truly in the blurry photo below...

It's a shame the photo's so blurry, because you can't really see the outrageously sparkly black and metal flake finish, or the fake abalone** pickguard, which look sorta like the materials the toilets in a over-fussy middle-eastern restaurant would be made of, but the person who took the photo was frankly having trouble focusing their eyes, let alone a fucking camera. But I digress. It's fucking awesome, looks like the epitome of 60s trash, sounds like the bastard offspring of a Gretsch guitar and a Rickenbacker bass, and with that Bigsby tremolo and a bottleneck, has opened up a whole new vista of low-end wrong in my never-ceasing quest for the most outrageous, disgusting guitar sounds known to man, and every time I've meant to come online and blog something, I've ended up playing the fucker and forgetting what it was I was going to bang on about.

And I'm truly sorry to any of my neighbours who have been disturbed by my playing along to Sleep's Holy Mountain, but it was inevitable as soon as I realised I could get the patented Al Cisneros sproing sound, heard to best effect of course on Dragonaut. Which gives me the perfect excuse to post this again (it was on the old blog, now it's here too, don't tell me y're surprised)...

Fuck, I love that song so much. Sleep had a loping, lazy magic to their music which I've just never really heard in another doom band, plus they gave the world Matt Pike, who would now like to explain to you exactly what the fuck heavy means...

And believe me, he knows that of which he speaks. And that, of course, is an excuse to post this, the finest piece of metal (in any subgenre) ever fucking recorded. I speak of course of Devilution, by High On Fire, wherein Mr Pike demonstrates his theory of heavy to somewhat devastating effect.

So yeah, that's why I haven't posted lately. Sorry if this post is a load of rambling bollocks, but it's quite hard to think when y're listening to Dopesmoker and have been getting into the spirit of the track so I'll bugger off now and stop wasting your time and I'll write something that actually has some kind of purpose to it in a day or two...

*I do realise that these statements probably require some clarification...

**Mmmmm. Abalone...


  1. I'm 32 years old and I've never fucken eaten abalone. Except figuratively.

  2. Jess, I cannot believe that you of all people have never tried abalone. The only thing that lives in the sea that taste better are barnacles (generally only harvested by mad Spanish people), but as far as shop-available shellfish goes, abalone is the fucking bollocks, raw or cooked. And if you ever find yrselves in Spain or Portugal, cheap as fuck... Seriously tho, you really need to try some, it's fucking transcendental shit.

  3. And Erik, well goddamn it, guilty as charged, but everyone's gotta have a hobby, especially one that I'm so damn good at... hehe

  4. The only thing better than rock stars are raw oysters from Apalaciacola, Fl.

  5. Oh yeah, that and the grouper sandwiches. i'm hungry now

  6. And if it's raw oysters y're after, get yr ass over here. We may not do much right foodwise, but oysters... ooooh. Plus you, Martha and the boy have always got a free place to stay.

  7. Thank you sir.

    As soon as the boy is old enough to appreciate it we are going's just a matter of time. Martha doesn't have the same sentimental attachment to Kings Cross that I do...the Number 1 is probably out so our boarding options will be wide open :).

    Finally September...and I can go back to trying to eat my weight in raw oysters.