No Tengo Cerebro (Temporalmente)

I am this far from passing out. Not that I'm ill, or on a comedown or whatever. I'm just fucking knackered. Not that I'm complaining, given that the reason I'm so fucking tired is the last few weeks have been so much fucking fun, and have made me come alive in a way I can't remember feeling in a long fucking time. So yeah, happy Wommm, but about to collapse in a black-clad heap. Which I would do, but I'm stuck in the fucking office for the next couple of hours, and they tend to frown on people who snore loudly at their desks. I also (sensibly) am not allowed to listen to music in the office, which is a shame, because some good ol' fashioned grindcore, or some really wiggly acid house would probably help me stay awake reasonably efficiently. I've already had the equivalent of 12 fucking espressos today, and the only effect they've had seems to be the urge to write this shit. The vast amount of caffeine hasn't fucking dented the desperate urge to curl up on my outrageously comfy sofa like a cat for a couple of hours one bastard bit. But soon. Soon I will be free and can allow my inner sleepy cat full rein for a couple of blissful hours. Well, at least until I have to go to the pub.

Mmmm, pub. Which is what I was actually going to write about in the first place. Well, beer anyway. And India pale ales specifically, mainly because it's by far my favourite style of ale. The problem with the term IPA, and one which tends to throw those less shall we say, obsessed, than myself is that those three letters are often appended to the names of beers which, whilst being perfectly good bitters/pale ales, are most definitely not true IPAs. Take Greene King or Flowers IPAs. Both nice, refreshing pints, sure, but they're pale ales, not IPAs. Because three things mark out a true IPA: 1. An alcohol content of around 6-7%, 2. massive, pungent bitterness, well in excess of a typical bitter, and 3. an outrageously hoppy nose. And both the aforementioned beers are around 3.5-4%, quite bitter but with a stronger malt profile (particularly Flowers) and a far more restrained aroma, making them most definitely pale ales. This is fairly typical of weaker beers with IPA in their names, so caveat emptor is the rule, if it's weak, it ain't gonna have the hop kick you want.

Which brings me to my main point. Punk IPA has a rival in my beery affections now. Jaipur IPA is almost as fucking good as Punk. Very similar strength (5.9%), a beautiful hazy deep straw apperance, and a lemony hoppy nose that makes yr mouth water as soon as it hits the back of yr nostrils. But obviously, the most important thing is the taste. And this has taste in bucketloads. It's not quite as dry as Punk, but the slightly higher maltiness is kicked into touch by the outrageously delicious grapefruity citrusness and an amazingly long-lasting hop explosion that makes me drool a little to just think about. Brilliant stuff, and widely available at the moment. Although The George in Croydon has run out. I know this because we drank all they had yesterday night*. So my apologies to Croydon real ale enthusiasts who'll have to go without for a few days, but we were very, very thirsty. Sorry about that.

*It was only half-eight as well, we had to go on to The Spread Eagle, and excellent as Fuller's Bengal Lancer is, when you've been on the Jaipur it just doesn't quite cut it. Get an extra barrel next time you bastards.